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Men are evolving into a more understanding, sympathetic, and
expressive gender.
Ludicrous you say? In the immortal words of Gerard Depardieu, "I'm not afraid to show
my feminine side - it's part of what makes me a man."
Right on, Gerry.
Frankly, I'm ready for a change. It's about time we shift men's attitudes about power,
intimacy, sex, and relationships. |
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Besides, I'm getting rather bored with sneaking into the bathroom with
my wife's mascara to thicken up that thin patch in my beard. It occurs to me that if a
Scottish man can wear a dress and call it a kilt, then I can put on mascara and call it a
beard thicker-upper.
Guilt-free mascara for men. There's a worthy goal.
The evolution of men has been in the making for a long time. Indeed, the epoch movements
of the 20th century - women's right to vote, women entering the workforce during World War
II, the sexual liberation movement of the 1960's - have done just as much to liberate men
as they have done to liberate women.
As the political, economic, cultural, and familial dividing lines between the sexes are
challenged it is inevitable that men should adopt behaviors and attitudes traditionally
thought of as feminine.
This is not to say that men should reject their masculinity. On the contrary, men should
whole-heartedly embrace their masculinity. But the evolution of men rests in our ability
to challenge pre-conceived notions of masculinity.
There is nothing wrong with being aggressive, powerful, or bold. Applying these
characteristics to uplift men and women alike is the defining catalyst for change. To be
aggressive in humanly pursuits, powerfully outspoken against injustice, boldly honest,
passionate, and sensual - that is what it means to be  a man.
These ideals are manifested through our interaction with others. We call these
interactions relationships.
But how do we perceive the competency of men in forming and maintaining relationships? Do
men embody the expressive qualities which solidify a lasting and satisfying relationship?
Do men share openly, listen for the sake of listening, express their needs
compassionately, or show their emotions unabashedly? And how are men perceived as compared
to women in the depth of their relationships?
Hmmm.
Call me insensitive if you must, but I would venture to say that someone probably put the
words "men" and "relationship" in the same sentence and came up with
the word "oxymoron."
Consider the burgeoning presence of women on the Web. Notice the prevailing and underlying
theme of sites designed by women and for women. Look at the marketing approach used to
capture the dollars spent by women. It's all about relationships.
Does it work? You only have to look at the success of sites such as About.com, Women.com,
or iVillage to see that it works. These sites are hugely successful with women because
they provide a personalized and human experience. The expressive qualities of a
relationship are hallmarks of these sites.
Speaking from a man's perspective, I can tell you that I want the same thing from my
Internet experience that women want. I want to know that a site is trustworthy and I want
them to prove it. I want to know that a site is concerned with my needs. I want a
relationship with the people behind a site, not a sales pitch.
But where are the men's sites? Is the definition of a site for men rooted in pornography?
Must the expressiveness of a man be explored on a web page within the context of being gay
or religious?
We need more sites that target men "as men." Certainly, the many different faces
and roles men play should not be minimized. But as I cruise the Web and come upon site
after site announcing a woman-to-woman theme, I am struck by the realization that the
man-to-man Internet landscape is quite barren.
But there is hope, for I would argue that the increasing use of relationship marketing on
the Web can have a transforming effect on men. I don't pretend to think that
relationship-centered sites can change men's attitudes overnight - that goes without
saying.
The only thing that could do that would be menstruation.
Think about it.
Rocky - big, strong man - wakes up in the morning a tad bit moody. He goes to work only to
discover that...
... his cycle starts heavy right in the middle of that important meeting. He chides
himself for wearing those tan slacks.
"Today of all days," he whispers. He bolts out of the meeting, realizing that he
didn't pack his briefcase for this emergency.
Thank heavens, there's Brock. He's always prepared.
"Hey Brock, I've got this important meeting and I just started and... can ya help me
out?"
"Sure," says Brock. "I was just going to the men's room myself. Come on,
we'll go together."
Pretty weird scenario huh? It gets even weirder when Rocky comes home and spends 30
minutes telling his wife all about his day. And the crack in his voice is unmistakable
when he gets to the part where the overseas client called his marketing strategy
"half-cooked."
Yes, this would sure do the trick. But for now we must be content to let the emerging
personalized Web experience work its way into men's hearts. Exposure to relationship
-centered websites is bound to rub off.
After all, men do need relationships and they really do value their repressed feminine
side, they just need a little help getting it out.
As for myself, I'm quite happy to play along. Perhaps I'll even get my own mascara. But I
do admit to some macho baggage, so for now we'll call it a beard thicker-upper.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Brett Krkosska provides how-to advice on small business and home-based work issues. His
site, http://www.HomeBizTools.com, helps small
businesses reach their fullest potential. He is also the publisher of Straight Talk, a
fresh and original newsletter that offers a unique perspective on today's business issues.
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